You’re Doing it Wrong Award – Apple’s iPod Shuffle
March 12, 2009
Buttonless iPod Shuffle
Introducing a new section: The “You’re doing it wrong” Award! People want to AVOID getting this award, as it signifies that Fail is on their doorstep. Today, our target is surprisingly Apple (/sarcasm).
On Wednesday, Apple released its newest iteration of the iPod Shuffle. It’s smaller than a AA battery and has 4 GB of storage and absolutely no buttons. You heard me, no buttons. Just a 3.5mm headphone jack that’s pointless and a 3 mode switch, Normal-Shuffle-Off. This new iteration really has me perplexed and I’m starting to wonder if they’ve gone eccentric over there at Apple Computers. What happened to the perfectly good buttons? And now the size has gotten to a ridiculous small scale, it’s almost asking me to lose it in my couch. Here I’m going to examine what exactly gives this mp3 player its fail-stench, from the design and the size to the concept of a device controlled by another device using Morse code.
To truly see how Apple “did it wrong”, we must look to the actual purpose of the iPod Shuffle. Most buy the product because they want an inexpensive player either to supplement their preexisting player or for their main music player to play a couple of tunes now and then, and you usually see people sporting an iPod Shuffle when they are exercising. Keeping this in mind, we look to previous iterations of the device. The simple circle button layout is great for easy and quick access, and anyone could pick up the device and know what to do with it if they haven’t been under a rock for the past decade. Switching songs on the device can become almost second nature, and its great while on a jog. This said we can now examine why the new Shuffle will not meet the needs of the purpose of its predecessors.
First off, we will look at the design, similar in size to a stick of gum, the iPod Shuffle is one of the smallest players I’ve EVER seen. However I could say that about the previous iPod Shuffle as well. What’s the point of making it even smaller and smaller? While it’s amazing that they could cram everything into a small package, I’m not sure I’d want it that small. The previous Shuffle was a perfect size, small enough to fit in your pocket yet the shape made it noticeable if it tried to slip out; it clipped onto clothing well and was easy to get at. However, with the new Shuffle it could slip out of my pocket as easy as a stick of gum often does .While it is a plus that the clip is now stainless steel, why not just add that to the previous model with the storage boost? In fact, the new Shuffle reminds me of the very first one, only without those useful buttons.
Ah yes, the buttons. Remember those? Those functional things that we used to use, those methods of inputs that seemed so straight forward. Ah, but alas, the minds at Apple say that those are methods of the past and we must move forward. However, move forward to what? It seems that the minds over at Cupertino don’t know where exactly to go. First it was the scroll wheel, then touch screens, and now single button combination presses. While the scroll wheel worked for some, it didn’t exactly make much sense (menus go up and down last time a check) but it worked. Touch screens were brilliant and the best move Apple as ever made. But Morse code? I don’t know if that even makes sense. It removes the simplicity that was liked by so many. There isn’t much to say because the idea itself is so out there. This type of input method is clumsy, messy, and doesn’t make the cut for a clean device. The only thing going for it was the idea of location the controls closer to the body and not to whatever article of clothing the iPod Shuffle is clipped to. However there is a problem causing that one benefit to be stomped all over on.
The main use of the Shuffle is to listen to tunes while working out or on a jog. The headphones that come with Apple devices are not suited for this purpose. Short of standing exactly still, the little buggers are guaranteed to fall out and are even worse when exercising. But that was ok before, because one can just put the headphones of choice into their iPod and everything worked fine. However, that was shattered by this “update” in the Shuffle line. Because of the bud that allows you to actually USE the device is located on the headphones themselves, switching to a new pair would render your new shinny $70 iPod Shuffle useless. The solution? A dongle that can be plugged in which contains the bud, and we all know how absolutely popular with the public the concept of a dongle is. However this dongle will cost extra, and completely destroys the only good thing good thing going for the device. The controls are now located right at the iPod, no more convenience. Just excessive use of “Morse code”. Sounds great, doesn’t it? Fail.
In conclusion, the iPod Shuffle (in its current iteration) is complete and utter failure. Apple, you are doing it wrong. First it destroys the very purpose for getting a Shuffle and then destroys the purpose of the new control scheme. And before my nonexistent readers start yelling: “You haven’t even tried it yet!” I don’t care. The principle behind the new Shuffle is absolutely dumb. An action without intent is pointless, just ask Immanuel Kant. This merits the “you’re doing it wrong” award. Please don’t make me give you another one.
